Vulnerable to Panic
by Victoria Roberta
Summary: Post Requiem. Gibbs struggles with panic attacks after the accident. Can he get things under control and can he learn to accept help from his friends? Rated T, just to be safe, and possibly for later chapters. This is my first real fic, so please be kind. No slash here, just team friendship.
1. Discovery

A/N: So, this is my first true fic, please be kind, I'm new to this so characters might not be 100% accurate. Also, I own nothing NCIS, although I wish I did.

It was three days after Gibbs and Maddie had nearly died in the car accident, and Gibbs was already back at work. The Director had offered him a week of leave, but he had refused, especially after what had happened the night after the event. He'd woken up to find himself in the grip of a panic attack that took around an hour to subside completely. Even though he was back at work, it still played on his mind, and the following two nights, the same thing had happened. As a result, Gibbs was tired, and more irritable than usual.

They were working the case of a Navy officer who had been killed in a hit and run. Things weren't all they seemed though, the officer in question was working on some highly classified material and when they searched his home, they found some case notes to be missing. The officer, Daniel Richmond, lived alone, and had no immediate family, so Ziva and Tony were out interviewing his co-workers and friends to try and figure out who might want him dead.

Gibbs sat at his desk, rubbing his temples, trying to stave off the headache that had been threatening to emerge all morning. McGee looked up from his computer and saw that his boss was in some discomfort. "You OK, Boss? You look a little off, today." he said, not expecting to get much of an answer from the senior agent. "I'm fine McGee, just a little tired." Gibbs responded, becoming irritated. He hated people worrying about him, and he was angry with himself that he'd let his mask drop and shown he was vulnerable.

"You sure, Boss? Cause, you know, you could always take that leave the- "

"McGee, what part of, I'm fine, don't you get?!" Gibbs interrupted. With a sigh he stood up, and began walking from the office. "Going for coffee, go check on Abby while I'm gone, McGee." Gibbs said as he made his way to the elevator. He could feel the onset of a panic attack, he needed to be alone to ride it out. What he didn't expect was for McGee to be all of two steps behind him, and end up in the elevator at the same time.

He leaned against the cool metal of the walls as the doors slid closed. He shut his eyes, hoping to beat off the panic before it took hold completely, but it was too late, realising there was no way out, he hit the elevator's emergency brake. His breathing became shallow and rapid, and his skin drained of colour. McGee looked at him, and was instantly worried. "Boss, you OK?" he asked, placing a hand gently on the older man's shoulder. "Maddie..." was all Gibbs said in response.

"Maddie? Boss, Maddie isn't here. Are you alright?" McGee asked again.

"Get Maddie, make sure she's OK."

McGee realised then what was going on. "Boss, it's alright. Maddie's fine, she's safe. You're safe." he said, gently turning Gibbs to face him. "I promise, you're safe. It's OK."

Gibbs seemed to relax, and suddenly his eyes snapped open. "McGee?" he said shakily.

"Yeah Boss?"

"You tell anyone about this little incident, and you'll be riding a desk so long you'll have splinters in places you don't even want to think about. Please, can we keep this between us?" He looked at his junior agent pleadingly, and McGee was shocked at just how vulnerable his boss was right then. He gulped, then said, "I- I don't know if I can Boss, you should probably get some help to deal with this." Gibbs was startled, McGee would never normally willingly disobey an order from him.

"Please, McGee. Look, I-I'm going to go see Ducky about this later. But can you please not tell Tony or Ziva, and especially not Abby? They'll only worry, it won't do them any good to know." McGee sighed, then nodded.

"OK, Gibbs. I won't say anything. You have my word."

Gibbs smiled, then flipped the emergency brake and set the elevator back in motion.


	2. Admission

A/N: Thank you to those who have reviewed, followed or added this to their favourites. I wasn't sure if it was very good, so it's nice to get some feedback. Again, I own nothing NCIS, sadly.

Within minutes of the elevator whirring back into life, it arrived at Abby's lab and McGee stepped out, with a quick glance back at his boss. Now alone, Gibbs hit the button for Autopsy, not really wanting to have the conversation that would soon be upon him.

He didn't want to admit it, but he was struggling. Nearly losing Maddie had taken its toll. He'd nearly lost another person he cared about, and although he thought he could deal with that on his own, it was becoming blatantly obvious he was going to have to do something he hated.

He was going to have to ask for help. All too soon, the elevator arrived at Autopsy and the doors opened. "Ah, Jethro, excellent timing as ever." Ducky said as Gibbs walked in.

"What've you got, Duck?" he asked, all business, for now. "Well, your findings at the house seemed to suggest that our friend Mr Richmond was the victim of more than a simple hit and run accident, and my findings confirm that." the Scottish ME said, turning to Gibbs before continuing. "I discovered a bullet, lodged in the back of the poor fellow's heart. There was no exit wound, so it wasn't something we were looking for, but whilst conducting the autopsy, we found the slug, and then we turned him over and found the entry wound in his back. Yes, someone wanted to make sure our young officer did not survive. I'm not even sure the impact with the vehicle was an accident, given our findings."

Gibbs paused for a moment, taking in the new information. "Where's the slug?" he asked after a short while. "I sent Mr Palmer to deliver it to Abigail, for analysis. I did notice, however, it's not the sort of round we usually deal with. No, this was different, although I can't quite say how or why that is."

Noticing Gibbs still standing before him, the ME asked, "Is something bothering you, Jethro? You're normally out the door as soon as I've told you what you need to know."

Gibbs stood for a moment, was it that obvious something was amiss? "Yeah, Duck. Yeah, there is something." he said with a sigh of resignation - he knew he'd have to have this conversation now.

Ducky nodded, and motioned to two vacant stools. "Well, sit down, and tell me, what's wrong?"

"I need some advice, Duck. From a friend. Since the accident with Maddie... I've not been myself. So far, only you and McGee know what I'm about to say. Can we keep it that way for now?" Gibbs said, not wanting to disclose his panic attacks, but knowing he'd have to, or risk another incident like with McGee in the elevator.

"Well, of course, Jethro. You should know that anything you say here will just be between the two of us, but, what has young Timothy got to do with this?"

Gibbs swallowed hard, his voice dangerously close to breaking. "Since the accident, I've not been sleeping, because I've been having panic attacks. Just at night at first, then... I was with McGee in the elevator, and I had one this morning. I just, I don't know what to do, Duck."


	3. Building the Foundations

**A/N: So, yay me, I figured out how to make author notes bold and stuff! Yeah, when it comes to this site and what it can do, I'm a bit like Gibbs right now haha! So, anyway, you lucky people get 2 updates in one day, because inspiration has hit with this plot. Please keep reviewing, it means the world to me. Usual disclaimer, I own nothing NCIS.**

"Oh, Jethro. How long are the attacks, usually?" Ducky asked, hoping to get an idea of what needed to be done to help his friend. Gibbs looked at him and said, "All the previous ones have lasted around an hour. This last one though, I don't know why, but it was over in five minutes. Tim, he didn't bat an eyelid, just kept telling me it was OK." Ducky smiled and responded, "You just answered your own question, Jethro. Often, a panic attack can be controlled and usually ended if the sufferer receives reassurance of some kind." Gibbs smiled, and pondered for a moment. "I wonder how he knew what to do.: he said out loud.

"That, my friend is something you'll have to ask him. Often, the skill is developed through experience. Now, to the matter at hand. I think you'd benefit from some form of counselling, but, if I know you, I don't think a professional would be given any thought. You know, you have an excellent team around you, I feel it would be a good idea to talk things through with them."

Gibbs shook his head, he couldn't do that. "No, Duck. They see me as their rock, the one who's always got their six, I can't talk to them about this." Ducky sighed, he had hoped the idea of talking to people he trusted would be more appealing than one of his many professional contacts.

"Well, what about Timothy? He already knows you're suffering from panic attacks. You can trust him not to say anything, just, let the conversation flow naturally and see where it leads. I daresay after today's events he may seek you out for some reassurance of his own."

Gibbs nodded, before getting up and heading back to work. "Thanks, Duck, I'll give what you said some thought." he said, as he headed out the door.

Later that evening, Gibbs was in his basement, working on his boat, when he heard his front door open, then close. Wondering who it could be, he continued working until he heard footsteps on his basement stairs. Looking up, he saw McGee standing at the top, watching him.

"Hey, McGee. Everything alright?" Gibbs asked, looking up at the younger man, and motioning for him to join him in the basement. McGee nodded, walking down the stairs. "Yeah, I'm alright, Boss. I just came by to see how you were, after, you know..." he tailed off, unsure if he should bring the events that had occurred that day up, or not.

Gibbs was unsure how to proceed, then remembered what Ducky had said earlier in the day. "I'd be lying if I said I was fine, Tim. But, I did go see Ducky about things." he said, sitting down on the edge of his work bench, and pulling up a spare stool. "Sit down, Tim. I've got a couple things I'd like to know, if you'll tell me." he finished.

Tim sat on the vacant stool and nodded, "Well, sure Boss. What do you want to know?" he said. Gibbs walked back to the boat, and began sanding again. "Today, in the elevator. You knew what was going on, what to do about it. How'd you know it was a panic attack?" Gibbs asked. Tim grimaced as the memory was brought back to the forefront of his mind. Gibbs saw the look and said, quietly, "It's OK Tim, you don't have to answer." Tim shook his head and replied, "It's OK. Just brought back some memories I'd pushed to the back of my mind. When I was at MIT, I had a couple of friends get into a car wreck. One died in the hospital a couple of days after. The other..." He paused for a moment, emotion washing over him. "The other was in a pretty bad way, emotionally. Thought the wreck was his fault. He had pretty severe panic attacks. They'd happen completely without warning, usually when he was stressed. One day, we were walking from class, and he had an attack in front of me, and one of the campus' counsellors. She showed me how to reassure him, to help him deal with it. So when you mentioned Maddie in the elevator, I was pretty sure you were having a panic attack. I just went onto autopilot."

Gibbs again set down his sanding block and nodded, "Wow, that's pretty rough. Did your friend ever stop having the panic attacks?" he asked. McGee nodded, "Eventually, after some counselling. Gibbs, that's why I wanted you to talk to someone. He suffered a lot longer than he needed to, because he just tried dealing with it on his own. I don't want you to do the same, I'm worried it'll affect the team." McGee blurted out. He began to back track but Gibbs raised a hand to stop him.

"Tim, it's alright. I understand why you're concerned. I want you to know, I'm not gonna let this affect my job. Today, was hopefully a one off. I can't guarantee it won't happen at work again, but I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure it doesn't. That will, in time, mean telling the team. But until then, I know I can trust you to keep this between us. I, that is to say, Ducky suggested I talk things through with you, but I don't want to put that kind of pressure on you. I'm not sure who I can talk to, really, but I'll find someone."

Tim smiled, then replied, "You can talk to me Gibbs, I don't mind, and I promise, this will just be between us, and Ducky, if you want to fill him in. Look, I've got some friends due over at my place, so I've gotta go, but if you want to talk, just call." With that, he stood up, and made his way out of the basement.

**TBC **

**A/N: So, that's another chapter in this tale. Not sure what direction to take for the next one, so the next update may take a while. Hope you're liking it, if you are, please review. Reviews make me happy :-)**


	4. Talking

**A/N: Glad you all like the story so far. This chapter builds on the Gibbs/McGee friendship and starts to open the lines of communication between them. Disclaimer: Once again, I own nothing NCIS.**

****Gibbs shuddered, finally awakening from the nightmare that had gripped him. He flipped on the light by his bed, and swung his legs over the edge. Resting his elbows on his knees, he looked at the clock by the bed. 6am, he had to be at work soon. He felt the panic rising in his body, knew he was on the verge of yet another attack. He put his head in his hands and tried to calm down, but it wasn't working. He needed to talk to someone - anyone. He remembered the conversation he'd had with McGee the previous evening, picked up his cell, and hit the speed dial for Tim's cellphone.

Tim was already awake, getting ready for work, when he heard his cell ring. Wondering who could be calling so early, he looked at the number, then quickly answered. "Hey, boss, we got a case?" he asked.

"No, McGee, no case. I just... I needed to talk to someone. Think I'm having another panic attack. I had a nightmare and woke up feeling like this. I need help, Tim."

Tim listened to Gibbs' breathing, it was just like in the elevator the day before, shallow and rapid. "Yeah, sounds like it is a panic attack boss. It's OK, just try and get your breathing back under control. You're hyper-ventilating a little, so just try to relax. Can you tell me what the nightmare was about?" Tim asked, hoping to get to the bottom of, at least this particular attack.

"Can't remember, just remember... water. Darkness. Can't get out!" Gibbs replied, the panic in his voice rising. "Gibbs. Listen to me." Tim said, forcefully. "You need to breathe, you're alright. Everything's OK. You're safe."

Gibbs began to calm down, and said, "Thanks, Tim. Hey, hope I didn't wake you." Tim smiled and replied, "No, I've been awake for a while. I set up a remote search to go through Richmond's co-workers and friends, and flag any that have records. I got a couple of hits so I'm sending the data to my office terminal. Should be there when I arrive at work."

Gibbs smiled, it was just like McGee to figure out something like that. "Nice job, Tim. I'll see you at work." Feeling calm, Gibbs hung up the phone, and began preparing for the day ahead.

Gibbs arrived at the office before any of the team had got there. He slipped behind his desk, opened a drawer and pulled out a small photograph of his late wife and daughter. "Oh, girls. It's times like these I really miss you two. I still love you, so, so much it hurts." he muttered under his breath. His thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Ducky, who wandered over to his desk.

"Morning Jethro. I thought I'd ask how things were going, any progress yet?" he asked, keeping his voice low, in case any of the team happened to walk in. "On the case, apparently McGee has some new information. As for that other thing, yeah, there's a little progress. It's slow, but at least it's progress." Gibbs replied, not looking up. Ducky leaned over, looking at the photograph Gibbs still held in his hand. "Your girls?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, this whole thing with Maddie has really hit home just how much I miss them." Gibbs replied. Ducky smiled, before heading down to Autopsy.

No sooner had he left, than Tony walked in, carrying two cups of coffee. He placed one on Gibbs' desk, and said, "Thought you might need this, boss. You've looked like hell these past few days. Everything alright?" Gibbs looked up at him, quickly tucking the photograph back into the drawer of his desk. "Yeah, everything's fine DiNozzo. Will be even better when we close this case. Thanks for the coffee though, appreciate it."

Tony nodded and then walked over to his own desk, dropping his backpack and sitting down. Something wasn't quite right with his boss, but he couldn't place what it was, so he decided to keep an eye on him. A few minutes later, Ziva arrived, and shortly after, McGee was present. They began running through the matches that McGee's search had found, and one by one, they all had an alibi that checked out. All except one, a certain Adam Preston. "Bring him in here." Gibbs said, sending McGee and Tony to pick him up. They had also discovered that the project Richmond was working on was currently in the development phase, not something he had been assigned by his employer, all information he was working on for them was accounted for, and he had taken no copies, either electronic or paper.

An hour and a half later, Gibbs stood outside Interrogation, planning his strategy. Preston worked in the company's mail room, he was barely eighteen and Gibbs' famous gut was telling him it was highly unlikely Preston could kill a man.

He walked into the room, set the file he was carrying on the table, and sat down. He pulled out Richmond's photo, and placed it in front of Preston. "Recognise him?' Gibbs asked.

"Yeah, that-that's Daniel Richmond. Nice enough guy. What's he got to do with my being here?" Preston stuttered.

"He is currently lying on a slab down in our morgue. I want to know how he got there." Gibbs replied. Preston looked visibly shocked. "I, I can't believe it. I just spoke to him last week. He seemed fine then. How did this happen?"

"That's what I want to know. Your file says you and Richmond had an altercation a few months ago. Can you tell me what that was about?" Gibbs stated, his voice calm and collected. From behind the two way mirror, Tony and McGee watched the interrogation take place. McGee smiled, seeing how different Gibbs was now, compared to how he'd sounded on the phone that morning.

"It was, it was nothing really. We were out at this bar with a few mutual friends, and he was drunk, made some remarks about a female friend of mine I didn't take kindly to, we traded punches for a while, then he went home. The next day he came to me and apologised, and it was water under the bridge." Preston explained. Gibbs nodded, "You have any idea of the stuff he was working on?" he asked. "Not really, I just deliver the mail, don't really have much of a security clearance. I do know he was working on a project of his own. He was developing a new microchip system, where tiny chips could be placed on bullets, and they could be traced back to the firearm they came from. I don't know how it worked technically, but I know it was a big step, and he was going to speak to his bosses about it next week."

"Anyone else know about it?" Gibbs pressed. Preston gulped, "Just me. Wait, there is one other guy who found out. Leighton Marks, a guy Dan worked with. He used to work in ballistics, claimed what Dan was saying wasn't possible. Seemed pretty jealous, would harass Dan at his house, demanding to see prototypes and stuff."

Gibbs nodded, turning to the mirror he said, "OK, we're done here. DiNozzo, escort Mr Preston out, then put out a BOLO for Leighton Marks. I want him in here ASAP."

Tony exited the viewing room, and escorted Adam Preston out of Interrogation. The rest of the day, the team tried to track down Leighton Marks, and after an afternoon of coming up empty, Gibbs sent the team home.

A few hours later, he knocked on the door of Tim's apartment, carrying a six pack of beers and some Chimese food he'd picked up on the way over. Tim opened the door and was surprised to see Gibbs standing there. "Hey, come on in boss." he said, leading the way to his living room.

"So, what brings you here?" McGee asked, knowing that with the events of the past few days, there could be any number of reasons.

"Wanted to talk to you. Clear a few things up. Might help me get over this panic attack stuff." Gibbs said, opening a couple of beers. McGee looked at him curiously, his boss wasn't one to risk drink-driving. "I took a cab over." Gibbs said, as if reading Tim's mind.

"Oh, I see. So, what did you want to talk about?" Tim said, taking one of the beers. "You know about Shannon and Kelly?" Gibbs asked, bracing himself to tell the stories he'd much rather leave untold.

"I know the names, and I know they were your wife and daughter, but that's about it."

Gibbs sighed, and then began explaining about their deaths, and the aftermath of those events. Eventually he finished, and said, "So, you see, when Maddie came to me for help, well... She's the last link I have to them. I wanted to protect her." Tim nodded, and shifted the conversation onto a happier topic. The two talked for a couple of hours, when Gibbs suddenly said, "I think I'm ready, Tim."

"Ready for what?" McGee asked, the statement taking him by surprise.

"I think I'm ready to tell the others about this whole situation. If I don't have some weird nightmare than induces a panic attack tonight, then tomorrow, I'll tell them. DiNozzo has his suspicions, I can tell. It's only a matter of time before they all find out." With that, Gibbs stood up, and headed for the front door. "Thanks McGee, this has definitely helped." he said, then pulled out his phone to call a cab.

**TBC**

**A/N: So, another chapter down, I think I've got about 3 more chapters before this gets wrapped up. Please review! :)**


	5. Never Alone

**A/N: So, I thought I'd say thank you, personally, to all those that have reviewed so far, so: Dixie Dewdrop, the electric phantom, Silverfox2159, ny05016sc and Gottahavemyncis - THANK YOU! Your reviews are very much appreciated, as are all the follows and faves. Usual disclaimer, I own nothing NCIS. And now, onto the next chapter :D **

Gibbs walked into NCIS HQ, to find the bullpen empty except for Tony, who was typing at his computer. Gibbs wondered what had his SFA in the office at this early hour, then he saw the pictures on the plasma screen. Leighton Marks had been sighted in Baltimore during the night. "I'm impressed, DiNozzo. You're not one for early starts." Gibbs commented, walking over to Tony's desk. "Well, I circulated his picture to all my old employers, and a friend contacted me this morning, to say he'd been spotted in the area. So, I came in and I'm hitting up all my old contacts to see if any of them have any intel that might help." Tony replied. Gibbs could tell Tony wasn't telling him something, so he gave him a knowing look.

"Alright, I know that look. I wanted to make sure you really were OK, boss. You've kinda had me worried the past few days." Tony admitted. Gibbs nodded, "DiNozzo, I'm fine. A more pressing question is, are you? That was some thing you did, pulling me and Maddie out, I can't thank you enough for doing it." Tony smiled, and said, "You don't have to thank me, boss, you know I've always got your six. I guess I'm OK, had a pretty bad dream the night after it happened, but other than that, I'm good." Gibbs stepped back towards the plasma, looking at the images displayed on it, and said, "You had any luck with your contacts in Baltimore?" Tony shook his head, "Apart from the initial sighting, nothing. This guy is keeping well under the radar."

Gibbs walked towards the elevator, "Alright, wait til the others get here, then lower the radar, and keep lowering it til you find the guy. I'm going to see Ducky." he said, before the elevator arrived and he stepped inside.

When he got to Autopsy, he found the ME reading over a pile of notes. "Anything interesting, Duck?" he asked. "Ah, Jethro, yes, as a matter of fact. i was building a psychological profile of the man you're attempting to apprehend - Leighton Marks. Turns out he's a bit of a tortured soul, not a happy past at all. I'm still working on it, I'll send a copy up to you when I'm done." Ducky replied. Gibbs nodded, "Truth be told, didn't come down here to talk about the case. I've decided to tell the others what's been going on. Tony's got his suspicions already, won't be able to keep it from him much longer. Ziva, well, I think she's aware something's up, and Abby, well, she probably knows too. Might as well get it out in the open." He pulled up a stool and sighed. "How do I do it, Duck? How do I tell them that the guy they always turn to for help, needs help himself? I mean, I'm still getting panic attacks, but I think they're becoming milder. Only when I wake up, haven't had another one here since the day Tim found out. I just... I just hope it doesn't change the way they see me."

Ducky looked at him, and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "It won't change anything, Jethro, you're human, and they know that. If anything, I think this may draw you all closer. You forget, you've helped them all through tough times, I'm sure they'll only be too happy to repay the favour. May I suggest, however, speaking to them as individuals? I daresay this won't be easy, and a large audience may well induce the very panic attacks you're hoping to keep out of your work life. As for how to actually go about it, that's entirely up to you. Although I do suggest speaking to Ms Sciuto sooner rather than later. You know how she worries." Ducky finished. Gibbs nodded, "I need to talk to her about the case, anyway. Guess it's as good a time as any to do it. Thanks Duck." he said, before getting up to leave. As he rode the elevator to Abby's lab, he wondered just how the conversation would pan out.

He walked in, listening to the music blaring, and tapped the forensic scientist on the shoulder. She clicked off the stereo and turned to look at him. "What've you got, Abbs?" he asked. Abby grinned and walked over to a nearby microscope. "Well, Preston was right about what Daniel Richmond was working on. I was looking at the slug Ducky pulled from his body, and noticed something odd. There's a tiny microchip in there, Gibbs." Gibbs looked down the scope and was amazed they could now fit microchips to something so tiny. "Were you able to get anything off it, Abbs?" he asked.

"Well, it obviously took a lot of damage when it was fired from the gun, but I managed to pull a couple of pieces of data. mcGee is working on repairing the files as we speak. I'm hoping, that some of the data includes the licence holder who purchased the bullets. Bring me that, and a gun, and I'm pretty sure I can name your killer." Gibbs gently kissed the top of her head, then turned to leave. Something made him stop and turn back, and he slumped into one of the swivel chairs Abby kept around the lab. "Gibbs?" Abby asked, nervous at his sudden and unusual behaviour. "Abbs, have I seemed... different, to you, these past few days?" he asked quietly. Abby nodded, "Didn't want to mention it, with everything that had happened, but yeah." she responded.

"Well, there's a reason. This whole thing, almost losing Maddie, I thought I was OK, but I'm not. I've been having panic attacks, Abbs. Almost nightly. Right now, only you and McGee know." Gibbs said, watching Abby's face for a reaction. She looked at him for a moment, then said, "Why didn't you say something sooner? We can help you Gibbs, but you kinda have to tell us something's wrong."

"Didn't want to worry you. Besides, I'm the one who's supposed to help you. Only reason McGee knows is because I had a panic attack in the elevator the other day, and he was there." Abby sighed, "Oh, Gibbs. OK, yeah, I'd worry. In fact, I'm still sort of worried. But none of us will think any different of you. Remember when Chip tried to kill me? I had nightmares for like, two weeks after. It's normal, Gibbs, and nothing to be ashamed about." She pulled him to his feet, then into a hug. "You need to tell the others, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, Abbs. I know. Thanks. There's a Caf-Pow in the refrigerator for you." Gibbs replied, walking out of the lab towards the elevator.

When he arrived back at the bullpen, the whole team was busy tracking Marks. "Boss, he's back in DC. I don't know how he's got here so fast, but he's back." Tony said. McGee suddenly looked up from his computer, and said, "Boss. Got a purchaser for the bullets. Apparently they were purchased by Daniel Richmond. It's a safe bet the gun could still be at his house."

Gibbs nodded. "McGee, keep tabs on Marks, I want to know everywhere he goes. Ziva, DiNozzo, go to Richmond's house, find any firearms in the property. We missed them before, because we weren't looking at a shooting. But first, you two, with me." Gibbs issued the orders quickly, then motioned for Ziva and Tony to join him in one of the corridors leading to interrogation. He explained everything to them, exactly as he had with Abby, then waited for their responses.

"Gibbs, we are a team. Everyone has their devils they'd rather keep inside." Ziva said. "I think you mean "demons" Ziva." Tony corrected. Ziva shot him a look, "Whatever Tony. Look, Gibbs, what I mean is, we're all here if you need to talk." Tony nodded, "Yeah, Boss. You never let us struggle alone. We're not going to let you."

And with that, they left to search Daniel Richmond's house. Gibbs walked back to the bullpen and over to McGee's desk. "They know, and I actually feel better for it. Thanks for your help with this, Tim." he said. McGee simply smiled and replied, "Any time, Boss. Any time."

**TBC**

**A/N: So, the team took that pretty well. But what's around the next corner? Next chapter coming soon! Please review. **


	6. Supported

**A/N: Wow, I am so sorry this update has taken so long, but I've had serious writer's block and life in general has gotten in the way of writing. Anyway, hope you like this chapter. Usual disclaimers: I own nothing NCIS**

A few hours later, Tony and Ziva had returned, and had found 2 weapons in Richmond's house. Abby was running tests on them and the others were running more background checks on Richmond and Marks, trying to gain any extra information that may help the case. As Gibbs made his way back into the bullpen after a coffee run, he felt relaxed, and confident that he has this panic disorder, as he'd heard it called, under control. After setting his coffee down on his desk, he walked over to the copy machine and became distracted by the news channel that was playing on one of the plasma screens in the office. There has been a break in at a warehouse on the same complex as the one where Maddie had been held, and as the pictures flashed in front of him, Gibbs began to feel his grip on reality loosen. The cameras panned to show the area of wall that had been taken out as his car had plunged into the river, and his breathing began to become shallow, panic setting in.

Surprisingly, it was Ziva who first noticed the change in Gibbs, and she looked over at Tony and McGee and whispered, "We have a situation." before walking over to where their boss stood. "Gibbs, are you alright?" she asked softly, noticing the other people going about their business in the office. He looked at her, and she had to hold back a gasp, she had never seen the look of fear that was in his eyes before, not on him anyway. At this point, Tony and McGee had joined her, standing in such a way that the group was shielded from the eyes of others in the office. "Boss, you OK?" Tony asked, trying to hide the worry in his voice. Gibbs shook his head, his shoulders shaking violently as he struggled to breathe, and remain upright.

The group gently guided him back to his desk, and as he reached it, his legs gave way. The team quickly lowered him into his chair and McGee stepped forward, "Gibbs, look at me. Can you tell me what's wrong?" he asked. Gibbs looked at him and replied, "Maddie, couldn't... didn't save her. Couldn't do it." Tony placed a hand on Gibbs' shoulder, and said, "I got Maddie, she's alive, she's alright. Just try and relax, Boss." McGee nodded, "Just relax and breathe, Boss, you're OK." Slowly, Gibbs began to get his breathing back under control, as Ziva kept watch over the group, scanning the office for onlookers and shooting a death-stare at anyone who paid the group more than a passing glance. After around five minutes, Gibbs looked at his team, and smiled, briefly. "Thanks, guys. I'm going to go see Abby, keep working the case for more intel. See if we've missed anything." and with that, he got up and walked towards the elevator.

When he got to Abby's lab, he saw her in the ballistics lab, about to fire one of the 2 weapons found at Daniel Richmond's house, and watched as she fired, then retrieved the slug. When she turned to look at him, he signed, "Got anything?" and was rewarded by Abby nodding, before quickly walking back into the main lab. "Oh, I got something alright. I got the gun that fired the slugs we found in the body." she said, walking over to a work bench. "Meet, your murder weapon, Gibbs. I managed to pull 2 sets of prints from it too, one was Richmond's, which was pretty much expected. I'm still running the others. Might take a while. Hey, Gibbs, are you OK?"Abby asked, noticing that the colour had not quite returned to the former Marine's face. "

"Yeah, I'm alright Abbs, just uh... another panic attack." he replied. Abby was about to launch into a hug, when a machine beeped, heralding the arrival of a match. "Well, Gibbs, I've got your murderer. Say hello to Leighton Marks." she said, after punching a few keys on her computer.

"Nice work Abbs." Gibbs said, and began to leave. "Time to take this dirtbag down." He went back to the bullpen, and gathered the team.

"Time to get our man." he said, and the team all smiled as the saw a glimpse of the old Gibbs they all knew and loved, returning.


End file.
